


Do You Love Me?

by Genie60



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7783363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Shot Demelza's thoughts after episode 5 when Grambler closes and Ross just HAS to talk to Elizabeth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Love Me?

They walked back to Nampara hand in hand, each lost in their own thoughts. Demelza, for all her bravado, still felt the slight sting of seeing Ross trot to Elizabeth’s side to offer help and support. Not that he wouldn’t do the same for her but it was a different kind of support.  She knew that as much as Ross loved her, and she knew he did, he would still be tied to Elizabeth by some long and invisible cord.  While he didn’t admit or couldn’t realize it, she did.  Her giving him the nod to go to her didn’t make her a martyr; it made her a realist.

Now as they approached their cottage, Demelza wanted nothing more than to hold Julia and relish the life they were making together.  After Julia’s birth and that horrendous christening she and Ross had come to an even deeper understanding in their marriage. Seeing Mark and Keren Daniel’s marriage just reinforced what they had and he was assured that their marriage, while it started in an unorthodox way, was now founded on mutual respect and love.  The latter coming to Ross only recently but she didn’t care.

She also thought the shadow of Elizabeth was slowly diminishing in their lives; that is until Francis acted irresponsibly and now sunk his family into financial and societal ruin. This would keep the Trenwith Poldarks in their, or actually, Ross’ mindset and Demelza would have to accept that fact now too.  She looked up at Ross and gave him the slightest smile which he returned along with a squeeze to her hand.

Entering the house she heard Julia cooing and went into the kitchen to fetch her while Ross went to the library, most likely to be alone with his thoughts. _Did those revolve around Elizabeth,_ she wondered.  Holding Julia close, the child immediately looked to be fed and Demelza moved to the parlor to get comfortable and tend to her daughter.  As she looked down at her nursing daughter, she brushed her cheek and sang to her softly. She instinctively found herself singing the song that she sang at Trenwith just last Christmas. It was the song that declared Demelza’s love for Ross. 

“Yes my love, your papa fell in love with your mama to this song.  Do you like it?”  The baby gurgled and lifting her away from her breast burped her gently before moving her to continue feeding. 

“Oh my Julia, do you know how much you are loved?  No, of course you don’t. Not yet. But you are my sweet, more than anything.  Someday, when you’re older, I’ll tell you the story of your parents and how they came to be.  It makes for a terrific story, almost like a fairytale.  Except there aren’t any dragons or villains or witches….well maybe one.” 

Catching herself, Demelza immediately felt guilty at the thought.  She knew that Elizabeth wasn’t a witch. But she was a woman. A woman who lost a man and that is one thing many women will never forget; nor does it seem some men, which is why she was feeling particularly vulnerable today.  Despite having been married to Ross for a year and giving him a child, she would never have his whole heart and soul.  And she had accepted that or so she thought. Until she saw the look Ross gave Elizabeth she was sure she had her feelings under control. When she joined them on the road, she felt like she was intruding. Why should she feel that way when he was her husband?  It was all so confusing. These feelings were complicated and deep. She had never loved liked this before and so she didn’t know that the hurt could be as intense as the love. Yet was there anything really to feel hurt from?

_No,_ she thought.  _It’s all in your head and you’re stirring up trouble where there is none.  You have Julia and you have Ross and he loves you.  What more do you want?_

“I want him to tell us, my sweet,” she said to her now dozing daughter.  “I know I will never be first in his heart but it would be nice to feel his love, wouldn’t it? Is that too much to ask?”  Her voice cracked as tears gathered.

Hearing footsteps, Demelza raised her head to see Ross coming toward them, the warm smile that graced his faced reaching her heart.  Unbidden, a tear fell and he was there just in time to catch it with his thumb, brushing it from her cheek.

“No my love it is not too much to ask,” he said softly. Demelza realized that he had heard her talking to their daughter and now felt the heat rise from her neck to her face.  She bowed her head, letting her hair hide her embarrassment.

“Ross, I didn’t…I know that…” she stammered trying to find the words to explain.

“Sshh, Demelza. It’s alright.  You’ve every right to want and expect your husband to show is devotion to you and our child.  I’m sorry that you have not felt the love I have for you. But know this. I told you not to long ago that you redeemed me and I love you. Believe me that since that night, my love has only grown stronger and is so deep rooted in me that nothing I have experienced before compares.  And while I do feel some responsibility for Francis and Elizabeth as they are family, have no fear that Elizabeth poses a threat to us, our children, our family or our love.  You and I are bound, come what may.  Believe that my love.” 

By now Demelza was weeping softly, tears falling on her sleeping daughter’s gown, dampening the linen.  The words Ross spoke finding their way to her soul and erasing the dark thoughts of earlier. Holding her face in his hands Ross said, “I know I am brooding and moody and tender words don’t come as easily as harsh ones.  But you have changed me Demelza and for that you are everything to me.”

Trying not to wake Julia, she leaned over to offer him a kiss, which he happily accepted and returned ardently.  Settling back on the settee, they glanced at their daughter and sat in quiet contentment, shutting out the world.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing related to Poldark, nothing. 
> 
> A whim that came to me at work. Nothing fancy, nothing over edited maybe even a bit rambly. Just an imagining Demelza's thoughts. 
> 
> Ross' thoughts to follow


End file.
